Are you sick of your doctors pathologizing symptoms or dismissing everything as side effects once they find out you have a mental illness?

This has really been pissing me off as of late. (and that’s the understatement of the year). My whole issue is that I was taken off a psychiatric medication 1 year ago.. I called that “the beginning of the end”. I’ve probably mentioned this in previous posts but I have ridiculous memory lapses. It was the beginning of the end of life as I knew it. Still suffering from the effects of that over a year later.

So yes I understand that many psychiatric medications have side effects.. And sometimes even worse withdrawal. But just because it’s on the list of side effects, doesn’t mean it’s not also a disease or physical health issue. And If over 15 years of psych meds I’ve consistently had 5 main side effects and now I have like 97 (probably an exaggeration I haven’t counted).. Sure maybe they’re listed as side effects but maybe there’s also something wrong with my physical health that’s being ignored. My pharmacists, psychiatrist and psychotherapists are all scratching their heads because they can’t figure out why I’m having such rare and severe reactions to medications. Some of which I’ve been on before and had no reaction to. The pharmacist did explain that when I started certain meds 15 years ago my body is completely different today so it’s not as uncommon as I would think for something to have worked before and not to work today.. or for a side effect not to express itself for 14 years. I still feel skeptical about that.. Just the amounts of things that are going wrong.

I’ve also given into the whole “it’s a side effect so lets ignore it” thing. Side effects of 2 of my meds were joint pain. I had this horrible pain in the joints in my foot. Excruciatingly painful to the point where I thought it might have been broken (not sure how I would have broken it because I’m not exactly a speed demon on my cane lol). I put off getting it seen to because joint pain was a side effect. Went to my doctor and he couldn’t see anything in terms of inflammation. I had a feeling in was arthritis. He had it x-rayed.. It was arthritis. I found this strange. I had expected arthritis in my spine because of my condition. I actually already have arthritis in my spine. But in my foot?? That is not a side effect. I got scared because there are actually 360 joints in your body and I was concerned that I could get it in more joints. I do have pain in other joints. I’ve been keeping track of all of my symptoms/side effects/withdrawl symptoms. Many of these overlap with a few actual diseases. Specifically autoimmune diseases. I’ve been convinced this whole time that there is some kind of underlying physical health condition or disease. Once it is diagnosed the health care “professionals” would realize “oh it’s not 97 separate random issues.. they’re all components of this one disease” I’m convinced they will figure this out after I’ve died from the disease. And they’ll be like oops.. it wasn’t only side effects.. and it wasn’t due to the grief of losing her psychiatrist. (he’s not dead he was allegedly on medical leave but I’ve found out that there was a complaint and investigation about him. There are certain things he needs to do before he can be reinstated). If I hear that one more time!!!! I have been through so much crap in my life and you’re trying to tell me the reason my body is having these strange and rare reactions is because I’m “not expressing my emotions about my psychiatrist being on leave so they’re coming out physically”. wtf?!? What do you know about what I have or not expressed?? Did you even ask me? You’ve seen some of his other patients and they’re “taking it really hard” so you’re going to paint us all with the same damn brush. Seen one crazy seen em all?! If anything I have intense anger towards him and I fell I express that extremely well. F*** outta here!. Yes I’m aware of the mind body connection. Yes in other areas of my life that is definitely true. But you are off the mark here. Don’t use big theories you don’t understand. Sorry is my irritation showing? Well at least I’m expressing my emotions right?

So my doctor was going to send me to a chiropodist/podiatrist. I was thinking.. wouldn’t it make more sense to see the specialist that actually deals with and assesses inflammation and arthritis first!? Also a cardiologist because of some of my sypmptoms and test results, I looked it up and it’s a rheumatologist. Why am I, the patient, the person the one to look that up and bring it up to him and now he’s doing the tests? I’m not even mentally stable. Why am I doing your job? Yes I’m anxious but if you mention that as the cause one more time! I’ve had anxiety since I was 8. These things have not happened before. Something different is happening here. I’ve seen the results to the tests he just ordered. He can’t ignore those numbers. It will be an interesting conversation.

Unfortunately sometimes you can’t just sit back and expect the health care professionals to do their best, do their job, go over and above. I’m researching as best I can which is so anxiety inducing but If I hadn’t been researching I wouldn’t have discovered some pretty important things. Frustrating to say the least.

Something to keep in mind. I work at a mental health agency and they ran some statistics and found that I think over 90% of our client deaths were physical health related. Mental health you would assume the higher percentage would be suicide. The reason I know what an internist is because I’ve accompanied clients to their appointments. Internists deal with people who are on multiple conditions and have multiple physical health conditions. That describes so many of our clients. No coincidence that clients on 7+ psych meds also have a lot of physical health conditions. The medications are toxic but I still take them because what’s the alternative? But who’s “crazy” the person who takes a pill that will not cure them, causes many side effects, even worse withdrawal effects if you try to come off, causes obesity, diabetes, heart conditions, kidney conditions, thyroid conditions, lowers your life expectancy….. but yes doctor… I be takin my poison… I mean meds doctor… I sold my guitar and piano because I can’t play them anymore because the hand tremors doctor… my brain is slow but I still be takin my poison… I mean meds doctor.. now I’m obese but can’t lose the weight because the poison… I I mean meds changed my metabolism and I can’t loose it doctor… so now I’m at a greater risk of diabetes doctor. Thanks!! (that was dripping with sarcasm and disdain in case you missed that) And a psychiatrist that was one of my colleagues actually said “there’s no way that client can lose the weight unless they come off all of their meds” That’s how the psychiatrist knew the client was off the meds.. because they were losing so much weight. Wow.

Anyhoo, to people who are on psych meds and for he doctors who treat them. Don’t be so quick to dismiss things to being psychosomatic or side effects because sometime they’re also symptoms of real physical health diseases/conditions.

Anywho that’s the end of my rant for now.

Have a lovely weekend my lovelies. I actually have no idea what day it is today but I’ll go with that.

AQ