Author: N.A.Z.

How to avoid a severe mental health relapse: early warning signs

by N.A.Z., posted in mental health

Sometimes there’s no avoiding a relapse but sometimes you can lessen the blow. I’m talking about mood disorders such as bipolar disorder (mania/depression) and depression. I’m also talking about my experience and the experience of others around me who have found this helpful.

Episodes generally don’t go from zero to 100 in a day. There are usually early warning signs. If you get treatment during this stage the outcome is sometimes better. One of my warning signs when I’m getting manic (but not necessarily noticeable yet), is I tend to go to a well known music story and by instruments, Even something as simple as drum sticks. Seems innocent enough, but then it tends to escalate.

How do you learn your early warning signs? When you are stable think about the emotions, thoughts and behaviours you had when you were unwell. If you have had multiple episodes you will see a pattern It’s also helpful to ask a close friend or loved one as they may have noticed things you are unaware of. The point is to get treatment quickly or have your health professional in the loop early on. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but I find being aware is empowering. it’s also helpful for your psychotherapist to be aware if you have one.They can spend more time with you trying to figure things out and they can notify your doctor if they have concerns.

But that’s just mai 2 cents

Have a wonderful week my lovelies,

Naz

Gratitude

by N.A.Z., posted in Gratitude

Well in the midst of gloomy days finally a sunny warm day! What a metaphor for my live. I had decided that I would walk today without my dog. It’s cumbersome with my cane and bending precariously for the poo and what not (not to worry someone else in my house made sure to walk him)

I’m so grateful that I did. The sun was beautiful and it was relatively warm. I was out for over an hour. Sat outside my house and gave thanks for so many things. Then sat in the backyard with my dog while he chased the squirrels away. He loves that. I thanked God for everything and the people he’s blessed me with. My lovely friends and family and there unwavering support, my beautiful neighbourhood, the fact that I’m leaving this place of depression and entering a place where I’m looking forward to my future. I have a future! I really couldn’t see it before. Scary how mental illness distorts your perception of reality. Exercise can do so much and I hadn’t been for so long. I thanked God for protecting me and my family. I use the term God in a spiritual way, not a religious one. I thanked God for my mum whose seen me through so much and never gives up. For my wonderful therapist who is yet another ray of sunshine in my life. For the French certificate Course I’ll be taking later on. I’m coming back to myself.

It was just a wonderful day and I am grateful. Having a gratitude list has really helped me to elevate my mood and ward off depression.

Have a wonderful week my lovelies,

Naz

What to do when your doctor thinks you’re not a “good historian”

by N.A.Z., posted in Mental health system

I’ve spent time in the mental health system.. a prisoner some say. it’s a broken system but there are ways around it. I’ve also worked as a clinician on a multidisciplinary team. I’ve had the inside view and heard the conversations between psychiatrists and other staff regarding patients/clients. Something that comes up is whether someone is a good historian.

If you say always take your medication when in reality it’s every third day you are not a good historian. If you say you’ve had 2 hospitalizations when in reality you’ve had 16, you are not a good historian. Basically it’s how accurate you depiction of the past and other events are.

Some psychiatrists are skeptical about all clients ability to be good historians. For this reason and several others it’s very helpful to bring someone to the appointment with you. They are sometimes viewed as the “sane one” even if the doctor has never met them before. Here is an exaggerated example but sometimes it’s this bad:

Naz: I take my medication every day

Doctor: ok (looking down taking notes)

Sane one: yes she does take her meds everyday

Doctor: ooooh!!! that’s great she takes her medication daily!! (notice that’s exactly what I said? He assumed I was not a good historian)

How insulting. But as I said we live in a broken system and sometimes we do unintentionally under – report the severity of our symptoms. one of my “sane people” takes a lot of notes for me which I find helpful. it’s also good for support..emotional or otherwise. At the very least you have a witness and the doctors sometimes take you more seriously if a family member, especially, comes sometimes the doctor feels it’s more of a concern and they’re more likely to listen. Once a doctor clearly felt threatened. The good ones won’t. It also allows your loved one to feel heard and to express their concerns.

Have a great week my lovelies,

Nas

Why?

Featured by N.A.Z., posted in Health

I was having a conversation with my friend the other day and he was saying he doesn’t ask “why” about the painful things that he’s been through in life. I, on the other hand, am different. I am grateful for the “why”. It is always revealed to me eventually. No matter how horrible the experience, there has always seemed to be a purpose to my pain that has helped me to help others and become a better and more compassionate person. I would not be who I am today without each painful and sometimes traumatic experience I’ve been through in my life.

Things like childhood sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, mental and physical illness. It would be easy to sit in place of self-pity and anger indefinitely asking “why” from a negative and bitter place. After keeping things bottled up for years I started to become more vocal about what I’d been through. In my personal life, women young and old, started to disclose to me their stories. Many of them had never disclosed to another person ever. They felt comfortable because they knew I understood. If I’d kept it to myself, maybe some of them would never have told another living soul. That is so much to carry on your own. I’m glad that my openness about my pain allowed them a safe space to disclose their own. I am happy for that “why”.

I also started doing public speaking. Largely to high school students about my challenges with mental health. I learned that sometimes in just naming an experience, not even going into detail, it can have so much power. I spoke mainly about bipolar mania because I find it quite fascinating. I briefly mentioned that I’ve had suicidal thoughts since the age of 13. That was it! Just from that statement many people came up to the social worker working with me and disclosed that they had suicidal thoughts. Some had a plan to attempt even that week. Some came up with their friends to support them. All of these people chose to get help simply because I stated my truth? That is powerful. I noticed a similar type of openness to disclose when adults find out that I’m a DV (domestic violence) survivor. I’m grateful for those “whys” having been revealed to me.

I also find I’m a lot more understanding and compassionate for people with other kinds of painful experiences. I feel that’s one of the things that makes us human. We’ve all experienced pain, be it emotional, physical or mental. I don’t feel I have to have had the same pain as someone to connect with them. I too have had pain before.

I then worked for almost 15 years in the mental health field. People thought I was so good at my job and at connecting with the clients because I had a mental health illness also. This would irritate me. We were not the same because of mental health issues.. We were the same because we were human and we’ve all had struggles and pain. That’s it! There’s no secret formula. Look at the clients as human beings because that’s what they are. People react well when your approach is that we’re the same.. we’re both human. It’s not rocket science.

I’m happy that I had become very comfortable talking about difficult and sensitive issues from my own life as well as with others over the years. Also for having had so much therapy and recognizing the importance of boundaries. Those things were very helpful in helping my clients. I’m happy for those “whys”. When I went through therapy it was not only for my own wellbeing, it helped in the ease with which I was able to interact with clients.

So maybe instead of “why” we can think “how”. How has this painful event impacted my life in a positive way? How can I use it to help someone else or impact the world in a positive way? How has this made me a better person?

Have a good week my lovelies,

NAZ

Hope for non-powerhouse singers

by N.A.Z., posted in Dream

Well the time has come! As a black singer there were a group of us with low confidence and self-esteem when it came to singing. Whitney was the benchmark for singing and if you didn’t have a powerful southern gospel voice you sometimes felt a little inadequate. I did anyway, and so did a number of my friends.

Someone once said to me “you can learn how to do vocal gymnastics for days but your tone, you’re stuck with. Either you were blessed with a nice tone or you weren’t. NAZ you have a very beautiful tone.” I never really appreciated at the time, just kept beating myself up for not having a voice like Whitney or Arerha Franklin.

But not there are artists like H.E.R. who are mainstream and sound more like me! Mellow, Sultry with these beautiful tones. Really different writing styles also. I’m just so happy to hear some more diversity.

Who knows maybe you should look out for N.A.Z. because there seems to be a place where I fit in now.

Enjoy your weekend my lovelies.

N.A.Z.